Thursday, February 23, 2012

Safe and Sound

Wau lama kan tak conteng conteng kat sini. Well im a lazy bum. So orang malas keje dia mengulor main dgn arnab je.

So yesterday i already got my semester 4 result from UITM. I think its around 1230 or 1 in the morning. Semua kawan2 dah serabut tanya kat Twitter dah dapat ke blom email from itm. Ok im a bit scared too lah of coz since ada certain subject i know i didnt perform better masa exam. Plus siap mimpi2 aku ada amek subjek arab lah apalah. Siap dapat semua b lah. Petanda malang sangat mimpi2 mcm ni.

Jadi akhirnya dapatlah jugak result. Hmmm..Can i say that i dont feel satisfied with my result? Obviously result turun. Some said that kire untunglah still DL(dean's list) but truth is aku tak puas hati lah weh -_____- nangis esak esak sobs sobs. Ok mari kita listkan apa sebab yg kita tak puas hati:

1) Mula-mula ada satu subjek ni subjek elektif tau. Mostly senior recommend utk register for this subject since subject ni tak beratlah, subject ni bestlah, subject ni siap bleh g travel dan macam2 lagilah sifat mahmudah pada subjek elektif ni. So sbb peer pressure dan sbb sume orang pun nak register this subject i follow jelah bak kata SY. Butttttt! The thing is lec dia super pemalas. Like serious pemalas. Dia duduk je. Ok maybe at other uni mostly lec keje dia duduk jugak kot and then makan gaji. But seriously i dont mind sbb its only an elective subject plus kelas ni adalah pepagi buta hari isnin pulak tuh. Seriously, who likes monday? Garfield pun benci isnin! And then yg pasal pegi travel tuh ok mmg ada g travel, our class pergi Melaka dpt tgk pantai sume bestlah. TAPIIIII si pemalas ni bleh tak cabut tinggalkan student2 dia ni. Padahal on the same day dia sepatutnya bagi talk pada this single mother punya community yg join trip kitorang. Si pemalas ni sentap sbb tmpt yg dia nak bagi talk tuh panas. Professional sgt alasan kau. Dan oleh kerana si pemalas ni balik Shah alam mcm takdahal dia biakan kitorang yg bagi talk. So my friend and i yg bagi talk pada single mothers ni. Yes me! Me yg belum kawen ni bagi talk! Urgh i curse u pemalas! Then the next monday dia buat relax je mcm tak buat salah. So i dont think i deserve to get a B+ since i definitely safe your face in front of those lecturers u damn lecturer!

2) Ok next subject is a law subject. This already a burden to me. I hate law subject. Why the heck a mass com student should learn a law subject? Samalah mcm kau bagi budak sains amik subjek art. Kau igt dorang tak amukan ke?? So this subject i dont want to amukan sangat since i know the lecturer mmg sgt particular bout everything. She almost makes us to do a citation in our exam paper. Hebat kan subject law ni? I salute u all lawyers!

Of coz i am sad that my gpa turun. Tho my cgpa naik but still....sigh. This just shows that i need to work harder for my final semester before i go for my practical training.

Here i show u the comparison of my result in semester 3 and my recent result for my semester 4.

Ini result masa feeling pandai.

Ini result akibat kerap ponteng kelas, ngumpat kengkawan, degil dan sbb kurang doa dan semayang lah ni :"( I should do some self reflection.

Lets just say i drop few pointers. Now i have to focus on my academic writing.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

To My Sis On Her Big Wedding Day

My sister and I

The day that i made this post is on 7th August 2011.
There's still 61 days to my sis wedding day.
I am so happy for her......NOT
Ok yes of course i am happy for her.
The thing is that i don't know if i am gonna be ok after she is married.
It's not that my soon to be brother in law, Alif is not a good guy.
He is a good man, i think he is closest brother in law for me that i will ever have.
Kak Rai is so lucky coz they have been going together for 8 years.

For those 8 years they have been together,
I have been with Kak Rai for 23 years.
I share everything with her.
Room.Bed.Clothes.Stuffs and sometimes even underwear (well we almost the same sizes)
And it's great that i don't have to share any of this with her anymore.
But one thing for sure i know i am gonna be super sad.
I can promise you one thing, i wont cry on the wedding day
But i will be devastated

The thing is that it's not just room, bed, clothes or stuffs that i will stop sharing with her
I will probably stop sharing all of my thoughts, complains, whines, tears, anger n etc.
It will never be the same.
I cant asked her to called me in the middle of the night like always just to hear me cry.
I wouldn't want to disturb her baby making business with Alip.
Like now, i am having a breakdown but i am resisting myself to call her.
Well, just because i need to practice.
I have to get used to the moment where she will be Alif's property.

Kak Rai is the best sister for me.
The one and only.
I can hate her so fucking much today and tomorrow we will still be fighting.
But in the end of the day she will act like nothing happened and treat me nicely.
I hate and love her because of that.
Just because my heart is too soft for her.
She is so freaking annoying sometimes but i really dont know how i can put up with her all this while.

Kak Rai,
Congratulations on your wedding day with Alif.
Please treat Alep nicely.
You know i will always be on your side no matter what people say about u.

-this is crazy, writing like this is crazy. I am not good with pouring out my emotions to my loved ones. Yekkkk. Ok fine, up until now everything i wrote are truly from my heart :) -